


The Birthday

by DarkwingSnark, Moonbeamcat



Series: Heart of the Cards [2]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: M/M, Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1838659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkwingSnark/pseuds/DarkwingSnark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonbeamcat/pseuds/Moonbeamcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Heart of the Cards": Wander and Sylvia find themselves invited to Lord Hater's "not a party" birthday party, and the fuzzy nomad is beyond excited. However, will the celebration actually be enjoyable for the skeleton... Or yet another complete flop? Maybe inviting Wander wasn't such a great idea after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Invitation

"Come on, buddy, what's taking you so long?"

The halls were quiet; too quiet. Definitely far too quiet for Lord Hater's ship, even if it was the dead of night. The place was usually full of some sort of noise- whether it was the sound of marching of soldiers down the halls, or the soft whirling and spinning of gears and gizmos working away and keeping the place functionable. Yet, to the zbornak's chagrin, she couldn't hear a single thing.

And hearing nothing usually meant trouble.

Sylvia sighed, trying to get herself to relax. Though, could one blame her for her unease? The last time she had been on the skull shaped space vehicle wasn't exactly a picnic or a walk in the park for her. In fact, it had been the opposite of pleasurable as she and her fuzzy buddy had been ambushed and captured. Sylvia felt a shiver through her body, as the sudden image of Wander's limb dead carcass on the floor of Lord Hater's throne room entered her mind. Yeah, no, that was NOT something she wanted to relive- and the place was making it really hard not to forget and suppress it! So why the heck were they even here again?!

The zbornak threw a look over her shoulder as she looked at the skeletal overlord's bedroom door- the doors blocking her view of her best pal. Why were they there? Why else would they be there? Because Wander had begged and pleaded for them to come and see the stupid bag of bones. He had looked at her with those sad puppy dog eyes, and her heart had melted and instantly gave in. She would sacrifice anything for him, and her hurt pride knew it.

Sylvia sighed again as she continued to recall the conversation that had brought them to the ship in the first place…

_"What's gotten into you, Wander? You've been even more anxious than usual the past two days."_

_"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, Syl. Guess I have been a little worked up over waitin' for Mister Peepers. You'd think he woulda' found us by now!"_

_"Peepers? Since when do you worry about them finding us? Why would Peepers be looking for us, anyway? Besides the obvious, of course."_

_"So he can give us our invitations, silly!"_

_"Invitations? To what, Hater's torture room?"_

_"Nooo; His birthday party! I mean, it's tomorrow, an' Peepers still hasn't tracked us down to give us our invites. Startin' t'think we should slow down a little, give 'im a chance to catch up."_

_" ... Wander, the guy went out of his way to kill you not too long ago."_

_"Oh... do ya think maybe that would make him not want me at his birthday party this year?"_

_"Oh Wander, don't look at me like that! Alright, listen... answer me one thing. Are you absolutely sure you're reading this right? Are you absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt sure, that this thing is real?"_

_"As sure as I've been about much in a long time, Sylvia."_

_"... I was afraid of that. Okay then, buddy, let's go find Lord Hater, and you can give him that birthday present."_

The zbornak flinched and quickly turned around as she suddenly heard the door behind her creak open. She put up her dukes, ready to rumble if it was called for- it could have been her buddy… but it was Lord Hater's room, after all. So it could have been ol' Bonehead, himself! Sylvia composed herself, however, when a friendlier face popped out from behind the frame. She sighed as Wander finished making his way out, gingerly closing the door behind him. He had a huge smile on his face, and he opened his mouth ready to spill the beans about everything that happened.

Sylvia quickly held up a hand to stop him, as she whispered.

"Shhh, not now. Wait 'til we get out of this place, alright? Last thing we want is to get captured again."

The taller friend noted a certain expression cross her buddy's face, and she could already hear the sort of retorts he would come up about not minding being captured at all. However, Wander merely nodded his head as he hopped on her back.

It didn't take too long to navigate through the halls and finally get to the torpedo room. Climbing through one of the empty tubes, they made their way outside- instantly forming an orbble once they hit space. They made some distance from the ship, silent all the while, before it was Sylvia that broke the silence first.

"So...how'd it go?"

There was a sharp intake of air, as Wander took a breath so deep his chest expanded to twice its natural size, and when he spoke, he did so enthusiastically and without pause.

"It was great! I waited until midnight b'fore I said anything, and boy was he surprised! Then we had a lil' chat, an' I played him his song, an' at first he was all grumpy about it, but then he said he liked it and I was so excited!" His voice had risen so high by the end it was nearly a squeak, and he paused briefly to breathe.

"An' then he told me about how he'd been thinkin' about me a whole lot, an' that he didn't hate me anymore, an' then we kissed, and it. Was.  **Amazing!**  So then he invited us to his birthday party, which isn't actually a party, but there'll be cake, and balloons, and I can't wait!"

Wander's mouth had been going so fast, it took everything in Sylvia to keep up. Thankfully she had enough skills from being around the nomad for song long, that she was only one step behind him. By the time he was finished talking, Sylvia's eyes had opened wide in surprise.

"Wait, woah, hold on- did you say you guys KISSED?"

"Yup!"

"Huh...I'll be honest, did NOT see that one coming."

It was one thing for Wander to have a thing for Hater...he was Wander, after all. He was practically the embodiment of love. But HATER- the overlord skeleton with a stick shoved so far up his backside you could turn him into a puppet- HE not only liked him back...but had went as far as kissing him?

"Uh, you sure he wasn't being sarcastic about all of the whole 'liking' thing? And...did he actually...you know, kiss you BACK?"

Because, being honest here, Sylvia could easily see her pal looking too far into something that wasn't there. Or misinterpreting the signs. Heck, wouldn't be the first time.

She heard him sigh dreamily. "Boy,  _did he ever._ "

The tone of his voice made her shudder.

"Oh, kay buddy, wow, ew, I'm sorry I asked. Fine, so this is a thing, okay, I got this, I'm cool with this." She was talking more to herself than to Wander, she realized.

"Are you sure going to this party-"

"Not a party." Wander sang.

"- this not-party, is such a great idea? Remember LAST year?"

"I sure do! ... Why, what was wrong with last year's party? We did finally get him t'smile, didn't we?"

Sylvia thought back to the smile, remembering it herself. The look on the overlord's face had been one of the skeleton having a mental breakdown, as Wander and her had continued singing his birthday song. The zbornak laughed to herself as she had to admit, it was hilarious seeing the nomad go through all the trouble to make the party better-only to make Hater feel worse.

And of course, she had went along with it. Hater's pain would forever be her pleasure.

"Riiight, we sure did. Best smile I've even seen, heh. Alright, on second thought- sure. Let's go."

Sylvia would, at the very least, get to see Hater squirm around and feel all uncomfortable. And that was better than anything in the whole wide universe. (Except for jellyfish pie, but that was a given.)

"Great! And this year, I'll bet we get an even bigger smile out of him!"

"Heh heh. Can't wait, buddy. Can't wait."

Ten minutes later, the orbble touched down on a nearby planet, and the two did their best to get in a few hours of sleep before the big day ahead.


	2. The Not-Party

Things were going smooth.

It wasn't often the second in command was optimistic and genuinely felt that way, but today was an exception. Peepers had started his morning with a smile on his face, excited for all the plans he had for the day. He had hopped out of bed, took his shower and gotten dressed, and happily whistled as he made his way down the halls. His checklist was with him, and the watchdog was prepared to make THIS year Lord Hater's BEST birthday.

The first stop had been through the foodcourt, and back to the ship's large kitchen area- where all the watchdog chefs were finishing up the breakfast clean up and beginning to prepare food for the evening. Peepers had especially went over the meal plan, making sure they had a complete list of all of the skeleton's favorite foods: honey barbecued ribs; macaroni with three types of cheese- added in alphabetical order for listing reasons, obviously; mashed potatoes and gravy; pepperoni pizza, thick crust; hamburgers- first bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order; meat loaf- the recipe he had to beg and plead from Lady Malice, Hater's mother, just to get…

And naturally, the cake and ice cream.

Next stop was the observation deck to get the room ready. Usually for big events- like when the troops were throwing their own parties, or they had to invite rival leaders over- they would use the large multipurpose room on the ship. However, seeing as this was just an intimate get together and NOT a party...well, there was really no reason, was there? Peepers had called down his men to get them started on putting up the decorations.

Now if only they could DO that right…

"D'oh! What are you DOING?! You can't have that many balloons there, it throws off the pattern! And you, YES YOU, be CAREFUL with that ice sculpture. I did NOT pay a whole bunch of haterzoids out of my own pocket just to have it damaged!"

Peepers shot a glare at the watchdog mumbling under his breath about how nice it would have been if it really had come out of the commander's pocket. He'd have to remember to reprimand him later. With his gun. But right now, the blaring buzzer and flashing warning lights demanded his immediate attention.

"Oh, what now!" The commander groaned. Two armed watchdogs ran in and skidded to a halt in front of him, out of breath, and saluted.

"Commander Peepers, sir! Intruders spotted in sector 37-B."

"...We don't HAVE a sector 37-B!" Peepers yelled back.

"Yeah I know, but it sounded cool."

The commander shook his head, closed his eye, and counted to five.

"Whatever. Intruders? Capture them! I don't care what it takes; just get them before they get anywhere NEAR this room!"

This day was to be ruined over the watchdog army's dead bodies.

The two soldiers left, and Peepers buried his head in his hands. He was already beginning to feel a headache coming on. It had been peaceful lately, and the one time he tried setting something up, the one time he desperately needed for everything to go absolutely right, their ship was invaded.

Sometimes Peepers wondered if the universe had a sick sense of humor.

"AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN THAT FLORGIN' ALARM OFF?!" He screamed over the blaring sirens. He relaxed a fraction after the sound died out, leaving his ears ringing- which was odd for a guy with no ears to speak of.

His moment of peace was short lived.

"Well hey there, Mister Peepers! Need any help settin' up?"

Commander Peepers let out a scream as he turned around in a quick jerk- nearly breaking his spine in the process- to see who had just snuck up behind him. Fear instantly turned into rage, as he glared at two familiar nomads that were escorted by two newer guards.

Peepers' hopes for this being a pleasant evening were instantly dashed.

"Gah! What are YOU TWO doing here?!"

"They said they were invited?"

The commander found his neck turning with a snap, as he tore his gaze away from the intruders and towards one of their escorts. The watchdog that had spoken looked nervous under his superior officer's glare.

"Hey, you...what's your name?"

"Uh...Carl?"

"Carl? Nice name. Well here's the thing,  **Carl**..." The grunt found himself nearly falling over as Peepers was suddenly in his face. "I WASN'T ASKING YOU!"

Having taken out his frustrations, he then went to staring down the fuzzy mop- Wander still happily smiling at him as if they were the best of pals.

"Alright, take two: Why are you two sneaking onto Lord Hater's ship? I should have you two decapitated for this!"

"Weeell," Wander said, drawing out the word, "it's like Carl said- which IS a nice name, by the way- we were invited!"

"Oh yeah? By who?!"

The grin grew.

"By Hater!"

"WHAT?!" Commander Peepers' yelling carried down the hall and died at Lord Hater's door, where the blaring music on the other side of the door drowned it out.

Hater was pacing, and had been pacing for the last half hour. It had taken him a whole ten minutes after Wander had left the night before to realize he had just made a huge mistake inviting him to his... invited him over for cake.

He wasn't ready to face him again, not after whatever had happened last night. He needed time to think, time to get this figured out. Were they dating now? Was that how it worked? How was he supposed to face Wander in front of people now that so much had probably changed?

His nervous pacing was beginning to annoy Captain Tim, who growled low in his throat from across the room. Hater barely heard it over his music, but spun around nevertheless.

"I am NOT nervous! It's just weird now!" he barked at the creature. Tim hissed and scurried out through the doggy door, and out of the room.

"Yeah, well, NOBODY WAS ASKING YOU TIM!"

Okay, alright. There was nothing to worry about. It was only a small get together. With people the skeleton usually found himself surrounded by, whether he usually wanted it or not. It was just Peepers, the dumpy angry zbornak, and Wander. Like, it wasn't as if anything BAD could happen with just those guys, right?

Hater felt himself face palming as he realized what he had just thought. Of COURSE it could go wrong. In fact, just the three of them in a room spelt out trouble! Not to mention the fact HE would be there, and then Wander might try something funny. He didn't know WHAT, exactly- oh grod, what if he tried kissing him again? In...In front of the others?! A mix of panic and warm tingles took over the overlord's body, confusing himself even more.

"Maybe I could just say I was sick. No one would DARE bother me then!"

Except that was a coward's way of dealing with things.

"What?! N-no! It's not cowardly! Cowardly would mean I was afraid!"

But he was afraid. The unknown scared Hater, not completely understanding his own feelings scared him. Just the thought of being so vulnerable in front of so many people, embarrassed…

It downright terrified him.

"NO! I am Lord Hater, the destroyer of worlds, and the conqueror of galaxies! I have made civilizations tremble before me- I FEAR NOTHING!"

Especially not an annoying fuzzy mop that just so happened to be okay at kissing.

Hater sighed one last time, before pulling himself together. He puffed up his chest, and began walking towards the door. He threw one last glance over his shoulder, looking at himself in the mirror, as he shook his first.

"I FEAR NOTHING!"

And with that, he left the room, slamming the door behind him. He continued his prideful swagger as he made his way down the halls, going towards the room Peepers had phoned him to go to. He was beginning to collect himself, feeling like the villainous scum that he knew himself to be, when he was startled by the yelling he suddenly heard. Hater followed the sound, already glaring as he realized it was coming from the observation deck- where his not-party was supposed to be taking place- as he growled. His walking turned into a run and the next thing he knew, he was at the double doors. Hearing another yelp coming from what sounded like his third in command, the skeletal overlord kicked open the door.

"PEEPERS! WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SCREAMING?!"

Everyone in the room froze- Peepers had been in the process of taking silverware from Wander, Sylvia had been busy drawing crude scribbles of Hater's face on some of the balloons.

"Sir! I am SO sorry, don't you worry about a thing!" The commander began shoving Wander toward the exit. "I will get them out of here, right away!"

"Hiya, Hater!" Wander sang, stepping aside, causing Peepers to fall face first onto the floor. If the fuzzball had noticed, he would have helped him up and apologized, but he was currently preoccupied. He dashed over to the looming overlord.

"We made it to your birthday party!"

"I told you, IT ISN'T A PARTY!" Hater whined. Peepers, who was just now getting back to his feet, gaped at his boss.

"You told- you really DID invite them! Sir, with all do respect, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Hater sputtered, and Sylvia snickered.

"Oh, you don't wanna know what he was thinking, trust me." the zbornak mumbled to Hater's second in command.

Peepers eyed the woman next to him suspiciously, as the overlord tried to think up an excuse. What was he supposed to say, really? And why hadn't he thought this far ahead in his planning? UGH, he wasn't used to planning- that was Peepers' territory! And he couldn't use Peepers to help him plan out a lie to tell to himself- that would just be stupid!

So, instead, Hater did what he did best...avoid the subject by turning the tables altogether. The overlord glared, as he looked around the room.

"Nevermind what I was thinking- what were YOU thinking? What IS with all this stuff?!" He waved his arms wildly, indicating to the snack table, pile of games, and large ice statue of himself. "I THOUGHT I told you this wasn't a party?!"

"Well it wasn't a party until you started inviting people! See example, YOUR ENEMIES!" Peepers screamed back. "Besides, I see nothing wrong with sprucing things up a little for an intimate get together."

"Are you questioning my decisions, commander? Doubting my reasoning? On my BIRTHDAY, no less?!"

"NO sir, I'm just saying that-" Suddenly something dawned on Peepers. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before; obviously this was a trap. Lord Hater had obviously devised a way to redeem his mistake of letting those two live the last time. And those fools had been stupid enough to show up! Again! Oh, this was going to be good.

"Ah ha ha! Oh, silly me, where are my manners? Please, please, make yourselves at home; I'm gonna go see how the food's coming along." As he passed Hater on his way out, he nudged him with his elbow and whispered up to him,

"I can't wait to see what you have planned, sir!"

"Huh?"

Planned? What in the name of the Great Graffnar was he talking about? The skeleton didn't have enough time to question further, however, as he was suddenly surprised by the presence of two arms wrapped around his lower half of his body. Hater looked down, feeling flustered as two happy eyes looked up at him.

"Glad t'see you again! It's been so long!"

Hater glowered.

"It's been like nineteen hours."

"I know, and it felt like forever- I was just too excited about your birthday! Why, I'm sure I barely slept a wink- I was just that excited! Ya know, a birthday only comes once a year! Though, I guess there might be folks out there with two- maybe even four! Wow, wouldn't that be something! Can ya just imagine all the presents? And cake?"

"No!" Hater groaned. "One is enough! Birthdays are just stupid!" The overlord tried stomping away after that, but his legs wouldn't move. He glared down at the creature wrapped around him. "Let go!" He demanded, through clenched teeth.

Wander did as he was told for once, letting go and stepping away. He stood next to Sylvia, as Hater made his way over to the food table and stuffed a fistful of potato chips into his mouth.

Sylvia watched with growing dismay. That hadn't seemed like lovey-dovey behavior at all. Was Hater up to something?

"Wander..." She whispered. "I'll ask you one more time; are you sure you and Hater are on the same page here?"

"Absolutely dootiley! He's just a lil' shy, is all. 'Sides, I'm startin' t'get the feelin' he REALLY doesn't like birthdays."

"No kidding."

Still, Sylvia wasn't so sure. Something was off- and she didn't like it. Plus, with the way Peepers seemed to quickly change gears… No. No, Syl, ol' girl, we're trusting Wander on this one. Remember, trust?

Though… Trusting didn't mean she couldn't put her nose in, and interrogate the guy a little, right?

"Say… buddy. How about you get some snacks for yourself, while I go talk to Hater a little bit. Yeah? Sounds like a plan?"

Wander smiled at his friend; he was happy to see Sylvia lightening up some, and it was nice to see her actually wanting to spend time with Hater, without punching his face in.

"Don't mind if I do!" He spun around on his heel, and started toward the snack table, tipping his hat at Hater as he passed him.

Sylvia couldn't help but notice the way Hater recoiled from the passing nomad. Nor did she miss the way the overlord continued to watch Wander nervously from the corner of his eye, taking care not to look at him directly. She sidled up to Hater while he was distracted, and he jumped when she spoke.

"So. Wander visited you this morning, huh? Anything uuuh, oh I don't know, interesting happen?" She smirked up at him.

"NO!" The overlord cried out a little too quickly, and even he knew it. But, he continued to play it as cool as he possibly could- pretending like it didn't happen at all. "No, nothing happened. Except Wander showing up in my room UNINVITED. How's a guy to sleep when they have crazy random hippies showing up out of nowhere at midnight?!"

"Nothing, huh? Nothing whatsoever happened, then?"

The zbornak watched as Hater's face began to become an interesting tinge of green- was the guy getting sick?- as the skeleton looked away. Hater grabbed another handful of potato chips, as he began talking with his mouth full.

"Nuh, nuning hahpen'd."

"Oh," Sylvia smirked wider, as she grabbed herself a cup off the table and poured some punch from the punch bowl into the plastic container. She took a sip. "Mmm, so does that mean Wander never sung you his song then?"

Hater began coughing, as he choked on the chips in his mouth. Sylvia continued to look at him as she sipped from her glass, not even bothering to help him. (Not like he can die twice, right? Or however he became a skeleton creepazoid in the first place.) The overlord finally found himself swallowing down his food, as he gasped for air.

"W-WHAT?!"

"Song. Wander's song. The song he wrote for you, as your birthday present. Does that mean he never sung it to you?"

"You knew about- well, yeah! I guess he was singing, but when isn't he singing about something!"

Sylvia continued to stare at him, unimpressed. Hater stared back, feeling more and more awkward under her accusing gaze.

"He's singing right now!" Hater finally spat, pointing over to the snack table. Wander was, indeed, singing a diddy about the foods he was piling on his plate, and swaying to the beat of his song while he did it.

"Fair enough." Sylvia shrugged. "But what about those lyrics, huh? What did you think about those? Really something, weren't they?"

The fistful of chips that were on their way to Hater's mouth were crushed as his fist clenched shut, showering the floor beneath with splintery crumbs.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Hater roared. "I wasn't listening! Seriously, WHO listens to the lyrics of his stupid, made up songs! Who!"

"Did you do it?"

"Huh?"

"Did you accept his heart? Maybe when you kissed him, or did that happen afterwards? Just trying to get the story straight here!"

There was that green again, but as she continued to have a scrutinizing gaze upon the skeletal overlord- and the more he tried to avert his gaze and look anywhere BUT at her… Sylvia came to an important conclusion.

Oh grop, he was blushing! He was honest to goodness blushing like some awkward teenager being interrogated about his first crush in front of their parent- which, she supposed, was very close to the actual truth. The zbornak smiled wider and more smugly, as she watched him like a hawk. It was interesting to note the arrange of expressions that flashed across the skeleton's face, before he was smart enough to use his hood as cover. Hater took in a deep breath, looking like he was ready to say something, when both he and Sylvia were startled by an annoying hollar.

"And dinner is now ready to be served!"

Hater looked beyond relieved as he looked at Peepers over by the entrance way. He waved his hands towards the watchdog.

"OH LOOK AT THAT, IT'S PEEPERS! Food's done? GREAT! FINALLY, that took a million years. I'm hungry! Let's go do this thing now!"

Peepers looked at him quizzically.

"Now sir?"

"YES! I said NOW!" The overlord began walking towards the door, as he grabbed the fuzzy nomad on his way by- causing Wander to drop all the snacks he had put on his plate. "No more snacks, FOOD! We're leaving!"

Sylvia just watched, first confused and then peeved as she huffed. Great, info-blocked by Sir Peeps-a-lot. Alright, Hater, you were saved this time… But Sylvia would make SURE she got all her answers before the night was through.


	3. The Dinner

Lord Hater was not happy.

Actually, if one were to be completely honest, he was a nervous wreck. The group had made their way towards the dining hall- a room usually kept for dignitary gathering and purposes- where the room was filled with all sorts of delicious smells. Plate after plate littered the table, the overlord instantly taking notice that there were enough dishes set for the lot of them- no doubt the ever anal second in command requesting it. Hater made his way towards the head of the table- HIS spot, HIS chair- where he plopped down in a huff, slouching into the large black wooden throne-esque seat. It hadn't taken long before Wander was, yet again, beside him. Peepers filled the spot to his left, whereas the zbornak placed herself next to her friend- and the farthest away from the skeleton.

Good! Hater didn't want her near him ANYway. Especially not after what went down on the observation deck.

Both Hater and Sylvia went right to work piling their plates with an assortment of food, while Peepers and Wander sat and waited patiently. Wander sat smiling, hands folded on the table. If anyone had been paying any attention, they might have noticed how anxious Peepers seemed. His fingers drummed impatiently on the tabletop, his eye darting around the table.

As soon as Hater and Sylvia had stopped piling and started gorging themselves, the watchdog excused himself from the table to fetch a liter bottle of Thunderblazz, and made his rounds filling everyone's glasses with it. Wander's thanks was ignored.

When Peepers reached over to fill Hater's cup, he stretched up to whisper to his boss.

"I didn't know what you had planned, so the food and drinks are safe. But there's still dessert if you wanted to go that route!"

Hater stopped mid-chew and gave Peepers a look that went unnoticed as the commander returned to his seat, a bounce in his step.

"Alright, time to eat!" The watchdog announced, cheerfully, as he began filling his own plate.

The skeletal overlord put down his rack of ribs, as he went to grab his cup to drink. It was while drinking he noticed the others eating- Sylvia just as wildly as he was, and Peepers next to him actually taking the time to cut up his food into proper itty bitty tiny even pieces. Pfft, nerd. However, it was while Hater put his cup down that he had the funny feeling of being watched. His neck snapped to his right, as he realized the fuzzy mop had been watching him the whole time, hands still neatly folded where his plate was.

Lord Hater glared.

"Wouldja STOP that and just EAT already! GROD, what's WRONG with you?!"

Wander's small beam fell, as he looked away sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he tried smiling again.

"Gosh, sorry Hater. I mean, it sure looks like ya'll are enjoyin' the food n' all- and I mean no disrespect when I say this, honest! But… I can't eat any of it."

"What, saying my food isn't good enough for you?"

"Oh no, never! I don't mean to imply that at ALL!"

"Then WHAT is your DEAL!"

It was Sylvia that came to the nomad's rescue, as she put down her pizza to roll her eyes.

"He don't eat meat, Bonehead."

Hater just stared at Wander for a minute. Why should he have been surprised that a bleeding heart like Wander would be against eating meat? He probably should have guessed it. His attention snapped over to the other side of the room, where a watchdog stood, and flinched under Hater's glare.

"Don't just stand there, do something useful! Go get a salad from the food court for Wander."

The watchdog saluted and made a beeline for the door, and Peepers stood up abruptly.

"Uh! Sir, wouldn't you rather I prepare-"

"NO!"

Peepers sat back down immediately. "Okay." he squeaked. He could take a hint. Food poisoning wasn't part of his big plan.

"Then why are we even feeding them..." the commander mumbled to himself.

Wander was still watching the door when the watchdog returned with his food- he had wanted to tell him not to go through the trouble, but there had been a lot of talking going on, and it would have been rude to interrupt.

"Thank ya," the nomad said happily with a squeak as the watchdog placed the plate in front of him. "What a de-LICIOUS looking spinach salad! And thank YOU, Hater, for asking the fella t'get it for me."

"Whatever," grumbled the skeleton, needing to look away to avoid that stupid fluttering feeling Wander's grin was giving him. "Just EAT already, for grops sake!"

He didn't need to be told twice.

The group ate in relative silence for a while, the most audible noises being that of chewing and utensils scraping against the china. Hater couldn't help but feel awkward and very aware of those around him, the skeleton mostly used to eating alone in his room. The noises were off putting, and it was with surprise that Hater found himself relieved when Wander began talking in between bites. The nomad decided that then was a perfect time as any to tell what he and his companion had been up to for the past month or so. Wander went on and on about the new people he met- how hospitable the Zipzip Zorps were, or how fascinating the ok'ord ceremony was when the Dinglehoppers danced in the moonlight of their three moons. Hater didn't say much of anything towards it, besides grunting every so often as he continued to eat away. Wander seemed to understand it nonetheless, as he used it as cues to carry on.

The nomad's chattering was enough of a distraction for him, that by the time Wander finished playing catch up, Sylvia had finished her meal as she placed her elbows on the table. She rested comfortable as she looked over at the overlord with a smile of her own.

"But enough about what we've been up to, I'm sure you guys don't want Wander going on and on about it." She completely ignored the watchdog's 'duh' as she went on. "Now what about you guys, huh? Conquer some planets? Ransack a village? Steal any hearts?"

The coughing and choking from across the table was the only immediate answer she received. Wander and Peepers both jumped up to help him cough up the hunk of meat he'd inhaled- not that inhaling was something Hater did often.

"Y'alright, Hater?" Wander questioned, rubbing the spot on Hater's back where he'd just pounded to dislodge the food. Hater was now humiliated times two, and the touching was only making it worse. The skeleton's arm shot out, grabbed Wander by the scruff of his neck, and plopped him back down in his chair.

"I'm. FINE." He punctuated the last word by stabbing his fork he had, until then, not used into what was left of his hamburger.

His second in command still stood by his side, but thought it not the best idea to touch him as he comforted him this time.

"There, there, sir. A little break is nothing to be ashamed of!" The watchdog shot a glare at Sylvia. "And you! You have got some nerve coming onto Lord Hater's ship, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, Sir Peeps-a-lot. I was just asking! Sheesh. So none of that at all goin' on, huh?"

Hater carefully gave her a look, doing his best to suppress any warmth he might have felt in his face as he went to take another sip. Before doing so, he grumbled.

"None of your business, zbornak…"

"Not the type to kiss and tell? Gotcha."

To which resulted in the skeleton spitting out his thunderblazz, as he began coughing once more. Sylvia watched in amusement as the two by his side yet again did their best to comfort the big baby as he gasped for air. Oh, she could do this all day!

"Oh, so now you're making fun of him because he doesn't have a girlfriend? I'll have you know that Lord Hater is more than capable of getting any girl he wants! Isn't that right, sir?" Peepers retorted.

"Peepers..." Hater growled at his second in command.

"Sure, but are you sure he wants them? Have you ever asked him? Let's ask him!"

Hater was shaking from pure pent up frustration and rage by this point. His teeth ground together, both hands were clenched into fists.

"Don't." He grumbled, glaring daggers into Sylvia's soul. But it went unnoticed by her, or just ignored.

"So, what kind of girls are you into, anyway, huh, Bonehead? Blondes? Brunettes? No, no, wait, redhead seems way more your style, am I right?"

Hater was reaching his boiling point, and fast, as Peepers just gave the zbornak an odd look.

"Was that… was that a come on?"

"What?! NO! My comb is MAGENTA, not anywhere CLOSE to red! Besides, I'm betting the guy is more of a gingery- orange kind of sort anyhow. Ain't that right, WANDER?"

Okay, that was IT! Hater was fuming so much that he was beginning to spark- one could practically see the steam coming out of him as well. The overlord huffed and puffed, thinking JUST how easy it would be to leap onto the table and fry her like a roasted swine. Hater opened his mouth to say something, when the skeleton finally picked up an odd sensation on his leg. It felt like… like… a furry leg was rubbing against him. Hater, yet again, found himself distracted away from everything as he focused on Wander. He hissed.

"Would. You. STOP THAT?! What are you doing?!"

Wander looked apologetically as he leaned closer, cupping his hand as he whispered loudly.

" _Sorry, is this a bad time?_ "

"NO THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME!"

Plates rattled and silverware clinked as Hater brought his fists down on the table with force. The room fell silent. Everyone stared at the overlord as he fumed.

The silence stretched on for an uncomfortably long time. Finally, Peepers mercifully broke it.

"So! Who's ready for cake?"

"YES PLEASE!"

"Alright, sounds good."

" _Whatever._ "

And with that, Peepers turned around in his chair as he snapped his fingers- the doors instantly opening as some watchdogs rolled in a large food carrier, still covered. They stopped right next to the overlord, as Peepers stood up on his chair to uncover what was underneath. Once removed, Sylvia and Wander "ooo-ed" and "aahed" at the ridiculously large brown and red icing topped cake. Hater raised a brow at all the candles on top of it.

"And for the birthday boy," the second in command said proudly, "we have your favorite! Devil's food cake for our number one baddie in the whole wide universe. Hate's great, best villain!"

All the watchdogs in the room began to chant along, even Wander getting into the throw of it. Sylvia sat there, arms crossed and very unimpressed as she realized this was their replacement of the more traditional birthday song.

What a dork.

Once the chanting died, Peeper's voice broke out once more.

"Now blow out the candles and make a wish, sir."

"For glorn's sake, I KNOW how a birthday works, Peepers!"

Still, he did as he was told, blowing out all the candles on his overly large cake. Once he did, the room broke out in applause- the nomad next to him clapping the loudest- and oh grod, this was just so freaken embarrassing!

"Yeah yeah, ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'd like some cake, like, SOMETIME THIS CENTURY!"

"Yes," Wander piped in, "the cake would go bad by then!"

The candles were removed, and the cake was cut. Many traditions held that the birthday boy or girl got to cut the cake, but it wasn't so on Lord Hater's ship; anything that seemed like menial work was to be done by Peepers or the other watchdogs- no exceptions.

The cake was distributed, and the room filled with a delectable aroma. The watchdogs, who weren't invited to eat with them, looked on with envy.

Hater's fork came down to dig into his piece of cake, but missed entirely when his plate was pulled away. He looked at where his plate had been, dumbfounded. Who would dare? He looked over and scowled at the fuzzball grinning at him and holding his plate and cake hostage. Of course.

It was reflex that caused Hater to gasp in terror, when Wander hopped up into his lap and sat there, smiling up at him. Hater's eyes crossed as he stared dumbly at the fork at his mouth.

"Birthday boy takes the first bite!" Wander sang.

" _Wander_ ," Hater growled, "this is completely ridiculous."

"Now now, no grumpy faces on your special-est of special days, Hater. Open wiiiide~"

The skeleton watched as the nomad began to wave the fork around, making wooshing noises. Every once in a while he would also throw in a 'nyoom' as it flew by fast, or a 'rattatatta' as he made the fictional spaceship fire off weapons. Hater, however, continued to glare and keep his mouth shut as Wander continuously tapped the fork against his boney lips.

Sooner than later, however, Hater's patience was at his limit. As the fuzzy mop was diving the fork towards the overlord's mouth once more, Hater quickly snatched up the utensil and ripped it from Wander's hand.

"Do I LOOK like I'm five?! I CAN FEED MYSELF!"

"Ooohkay then, Mister Grumpyrobes. If you  _say_  so."

Hater glared. Yes… that's exactly what he had just said! OF COURSE HE COULD FEED HIMSELF! And to prove it, the skeleton angrily shoved the fork into his mouth as he took his first bite of cake. The anger slipped some, however, as the chocolate hit his tastebuds. Okay, yeah, it was kind of hard to remain upset over his favorite squealed, practically vibrating in Hater's lap as he saw a crack of a smile on Hater's face.

Okay, now he was just making it  _weird_  again.

And he wasn't the only one who noticed it. He glanced up and stopped chewing when he saw he was being watched. Sylvia sat smirking as she ate, and raised a brow when she caught him looking. Peepers was glaring at the scene, a look of disgust on his face that might have suggested he had a big, stinking pile of cobrabear dung in his lap rather than the excitable nomad.

Hater swallowed the bite of cake in his mouth and shifted awkwardly.

"Um. Could you?" He mumbled. Wander just looked back at him, as if waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"Get off!" He hissed. Wander's face lit up with surprised recognition, his grin slipping.

"Oh! Right, sorry about that, guess I forgot I got my own seat!" He slipped off of the overlord's lap and climbed back into his own seat, beaming at Hater as soon as he was there.

The nomad continued to watch Hater, as the overlord hesitantly went to eating more of his cake- warily watching Wander from the corner of his eye. Once the skeleton took another bite, Wander stopped creeping on him as he happily went to munching his own dessert as well. Wander moaned from pleasure, every bite to him more delicious than the last. Hater simply grumbled, frustrated that every time the nomad did so, it made the skeleton look back at him.

The fluttering feelings in his chest were beginning to get annoying.

Once cake was finished, Peepers clapped his hands- somehow along the way becoming the conductor of the party train, as he lead them from one event to the next. The commander smiled towards his boss.

"Alrighty then! Can you guess what's next, sir? It's your favorite paaaart~."

Hater rolled his eyes.

"Uh, presents?"

"That's right, PRESENTS!"

The three followed Peepers to the observation deck upon his request. Once there, the commander stood in the middle on the room, and cleared his throat.

"Sir, I am one hundred percent sure you're going to love this." He pushed a button on a controller in his hand, and a television monitor descended from the ceiling. Wander gasped.

"You got him a television? Neat!" He exclaimed. Peepers sighed and shook his head.

"No. The television is just to show- never mind! Where was I? Ah yes, behold!" He pressed another button, and the TV flashed to life, revealing a towering battle robot that gleamed in the light from a nearby sun.

"The Haterbot THREE thousand. Fully customized with extra spikes and a whole bunch of other goodies."

Hater gaped at the screen. "This year's model? With the chrome plated boots and leather seats!"

Commander Peepers stood proud and grinned. "Yup! And that's not all. Care to scroll through the list of features?" He handed his boss the remote so he could do just that.

"It's still over on Plarkon Five. I wasn't sure it would fit on the ship, but we'll figure something out and go pick it up later." But Hater wasn't listening. No matter, the important thing was his boss was pleased. Peepers left Hater's side to stand near their "guests".

"So." He mumbled to Wander, who smiled widely at him. "I see you didn't get Hater anything for his birthday but a giant headache. No surprise there."

Sylvia glared at him, while Wander smiled on. The zbnornak was the one of the two to speak up first, however, as she stood up for her best friend.

"UH, wrong there squinty. Wander already GAVE him his gift."

The watchdog looked at them suspiciously.

"Yeah?"

"YEAH!" The orange cheeto piped up, very excited. "I wrote Hater a song!"

"A song? Pfft, WELL I'm sure he just reeeeally appreciated THAT gift. Oh, I'd just LOVE to hear what masterful lyrics you came up with."

"All right! Caaan do!"

The nomad raised up his arms and suddenly his banjo was in his hands. The moment the first note was played, Hater was jolted back to reality as he screamed and dropped the controller for the monitor. He rushed over towards Wander, completely green in the face, as he slapped his gloved hand over the shorter alien's mouth.

"NO SONGS! No singing- IT IS FORBIDDEN!"

Peepers scoffed and rolled his eye. He couldn't blame Hater for not wanting to hear whatever atrocity that hobo had come up with again. Just then, the commander's phone went off, and he squeaked and jumped. He removed the phone from his back pocket, and smiled sheepishly at the eyes on him.

"Heh heh... forgot I had this thing on vibrate. Excuse me." He flipped open his phone and walked off to talk.

Sylvia gave Hater a look. "What was that all about? What's wrong with- wait. You haven't told him about this, have you? He has no idea!"

Hater removed his hand from Wander's face and stood up straight. "No, okay! I haven't told anyone! I'm... I'm going to!"

"Uh huh. And when do you plan on doing that?"

"I don't know, in a million years? It's just really weird, okay! I feel weird!"

"Can you believe this guy, Wander? He- Wander?"

Meanwhile, Peepers was not happy.

"What do you MEAN you can't make it! I don't CARE if you were sat on by a Garfalump and had every bone in your body broken, we have a CONTRACT!"

The commander pulled the phone away from his face as loud screeching came out of the speaker. He glared once it stopped and yelled back into the phone.

"OH YEAH?! Well so does your mother!"

Peepers hung up with a huff, violently strangling his phone as he pretended it was the other guy that was on the line. He growled.

"Grrr, stupid florping, no good, can-hambling magician! GREAT! Now what am I going to do for the entertainment! That was my big thing for the ni- YIPE!"

The watchdog screamed when he suddenly felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around with a quick flail, as he glared at what he saw standing in front of him. Wander was there- with a cape, bowtie, and top hat- as his smile took over his whole face.

"Sorry for botherin' you, Mister Peepers… BUT, I couldn't help but overhear you're one magical man of marvel short for the party. Look no further, I'd be MORE than happy t' entertain the birthday boy!"

Peepers knew, then and there, all his plans for Lord Hater's birthday would be ruined.


	4. The Magician

There was hustle and bustle as watchdogs ran from one side of the room to the other- carrying props and sound and lighting equipment, as they prepared the stage for the big performance. Everything had been set up in the ship's auditorium earlier that day, set to the specific likings and instructions of Mister Magico the Maleficent- the hired magician that was originally suppose to perform for Lord Hater. But with his little accident, and Wander now taking over for him, the nomad had changes of his own. His zbornak buddy was giving the orders, telling them to 'move, move, move', as the show was about to start in a few minutes.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the big velvet red curtains, sat Lord Hater upfront and center in the audience. He grumbled, arms crossed, as his second in command sat right next to him.

"This is so STUPID! Why the heck would I be impressed by a fake magic show? You DO realize I can do my OWN magic, right? Powers, DUH!"

His commander beside him chuckled nervously. "Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad..." He only wished he believed his own words. He was suddenly embarrassed that this had been all his idea- minus the part where Wander ruined everything, which he was no doubt going to.

Six other watchdogs sat in provided chairs behind them. Hater threw a glare over his shoulder when the lights dimmed and one of them cheered.

"Peepers!" He hissed to his second in command. "Why are there so many people at my NOT birthday party!"

"I don't know, sir, Wander probably invited them. Oh look, the show's about to start!" Thankfully, the overlord seemed satisfied with that answer enough not to pursue it any farther. Sylvia plopped down a few seats away from Hater, and a watchdog scurried over to sit beside her and offered her some of his popcorn.

Music flared up from speakers placed around the room, and the large curtains were pulled back to reveal a good sized stage, Wander looking far too tiny for it, standing in the center. He bowed to the audience. Sylvia and a couple watchdogs clapped.

"Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen-" He took a better look at the audience. "Oh, pardon me, lady and gentlemen."

Wander stopped his squinting as he stood up straight, smile ever wide.

"First off, thank ya'll for coming! As we all know, today we have a very special birthday boy in the audience. Let's give a round of applause for Lord Hater, everybody! The most handsome lookin' feller on the ship, if I do say so."

Everyone in the audience clapped this time, though none were really enthusiastic. In fact, it just sounded sarcastic more than anything else. Hater grumbled again as he sunk deeper into his chair.

If Wander noticed any of this, he didn't let on, as he continued with the show.

"Now, without further ado, watch n' be amazed as I perform the first trick of the evening- behold!"

And they beheld, as the fuzzy magician on the stage held his hands up, one atop the other, wrapped around his thumb.

"Now, what you're about to see might get to the more squeamish folks in the audience tonight." he warned. He waited a beat in case anyone wanted to look away. When no one did, he proceeded to pull off his thumb.

He awaited the gasps of horror and shock, but none came. Nothing greeted him but silence and deadpan stares.

"Huh. Guess you've all seen that one. Not to worry, you'll be sure t'love this next one!"

The nomad magician then reached into his cape as he pulled out a red and blue scarf. With one in each hand, he began to talk to the audience once more.

"Now, this here trick is a lil' somethin' I picked up from a nice old fella from the Rumba Nebula side of space. He was a retired magician, himself; and, after me n' Syl helped him out with the lil' bug problem he was havin' in his personal garden, he INSISTED paying us back. Now, he wasn't the richest guy money wise… But what he DID have was riches in the mystical n' amazing. So we stayed with him for a few days as he taught us- Sylvia giving up sooner than later because zbornak apparently don't have enough fingers OR patience.

"Though, ya' know, I have'ta disagree on THAT one. I thought she was doin' pretty well, myself. But hey, if you wanna quit, who am I t'say anything about it? Right?  _Riiiight?_ "

Wander had paused as he addressed the audience, and was met by glares. Finally, Peepers shouted from the front row.

"Oh, for PETE'S sake- WOULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT?!"

"OH! Right, 'scuse me on that one. Sometimes I jus' have the habit of my mouth jus' goin' on and on. But, yeah! Have a lil' loosky at THIS!"

With a wave of his hand, the two scarves suddenly became three, as a purple one was added to the group. The crowd oo'ed.

"Ain't they just the prettiest colors? Ya know, I think I'd like a matching set."

Wander waved his hand over the three scarves once more, before bringing his hand up to the tips. As he grabbed at them and began to pull away, there was another series of gasps from the watchdogs in the audience as the three scarves became six. The nomad looked at them fondly as the audience clapped.

"Now now, folks, this is just a warm up. Wait til' the REAL magic happens. But first, let me jus' tie these pretty lil' things together~"

And he went to work tying the corners of the scarves together, until he had one long scarf chain.

"And now I'll just put them away for now..." He held out a fist, and stuffed the scarf rope into it until the whole thing was contained in one fist. The watchdogs in the audience gasped again when he opened the fist to reveal the scarves were gone.

Hater had forgotten his grumpy posture somewhere along the way, and was practically on the edge of his seat, gaping at the magician.

"It's gone! Peepers, did you see that?" Peepers rolled his eye.

"Yeah, I saw it. Sir, do keep in mind these are only tricks, merely illusions, y'know?"

"Oh, yeah, I knew that. I just. Shut up."

Wander caught the exchange, and grinned even wider. His levels of satisfaction over seeing the birthday boy genuinely enjoying himself were unmeasurable.

"Huh, now where could those silly thing have gotten off to? I coulda' sworn I- ah... ahhhhh-CHOO!" Wander let out a sizable sneeze, the scarf rope seemingly shooting out and back into his hand. He sniffled, and wiped his face with it. "Oh, pardon."

"That's amazing!" One of the watchdogs yelled. "He sneezed and he doesn't even have a nose!"

The rest of the audience ohh'd and nodded at his discovery.

Hater turned to Peepers, said nothing, but gestured strongly to the stage with an outstretched hand, as if daring him to call that just a trick. The Watchdog, however, merely rolled his eye. Whatever. Lord Hater could be roped into the parlor tricks if he wanted to. As long as it kept him happy and not on a rampage. Peepers, however, was still expecting trouble.

This was Wander, after all.

The magic man of marvel back on stage, however, was busy bowing and ignored this exchange. Once he finished, he stood up straight as he removed his hat and stuffed the scarves inside. He placed the hat back on top of his head, as he affectionately gave it a quick pat, before putting his focus back on the audience. Wander cleared his throat.

"Thank you all, you're all being a GREAT audience! And for my NEXT trick, I'm gonna need one of ya'll t'come on up and help me out. Now, hmm, whiiich one of you to choose?"

He covered his eyes some, so he could see better through the spotlight, as the nomad noted many of the troops in the audience were excited as they called out to be picked. Hater, however, found himself taken aback as he debated over whether he would even want such a thing. His hesitation must have been just enough for Wander to pick up on, as he smiled down at him from the stage, as he pointed down at the skeleton.

"How 'bout YOU, Hater? Birthday boys should ALWAYS get first pick."

"Uh, well… I don't know…"

"I promise you'll enjoooy it. What do ya say, folks, how 'bout cheering him on?"

The skeleton rolled his eyes as the watchdog soldiers began chanting out "Hate's great, best villain!" over and over. Oh man, these guys… STILL, it worked all the same, as a small smile crossed his face for a moment as he grabbed onto Wander's hand to get up. The magician smiled his biggest smile, as he proceeded to pull him up on stage with one good yank.

As soon as Hater was up, Wander turned to gesture offstage. "And if I could get my lovely assistant Sylvia t'bring me the box..."

Hater decided to ignore the fact that she'd just been sitting in the audience a moment ago, as he watched the zbornak wheel out a colorfully decorated rectangular box. She left it center stage, and smiled at Wander as he thanked her and tipped his hat, and then she left the stage to return to her seat.

"Lovely isn't the word I would have used." Peepers mumbled as she passed.

"Watch it, pipsqueak." she growled back.

Wander opened the hinged lid on the box, and stepped aside.

"If you would." He said, gesturing to the box. Hater merely gave him a look. He expected him to get in there? It looked like a coffin! Was this some sort of sick joke?

"Don't worry!" Wander whispered, sensing his trepidations. "It doesn't hurt!"

That didn't help at all, and Wander's too wide grin was making it worse. Suddenly, he heard his dumpy bodyguard yelling from the audience.

"Come on! What, are you afraid of a box, Bonehead?" It was followed by amused cackling, and he realized not all of it was hers. Hater roared, as his anger began to peak.

"I AM NOT!"

Despite his better judgement, he climbed into the box, mumbling and grumbling the entire time. It took another couple of minutes of explaining and complaining to get his head and feet stuck through the appropriate holes on either end of the box.

Once seeing that Hater was in the box as comfortably as he could be, Wander went back to addressing the audience.

"Now, for my next trick, I'm gonna pull out an oldie; but, I reassure you fine folks that this ol' dog is still a goodie! Yes, you all can probably guess, but I am going to attempt to cut this good lookin' fella in half!"

"Wait, WHAT," The skeleton shouted over the cheering crowd," I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS!"

"Don't worry, Hater, you'll do fine! I promised you'd like this one, remember?"

Lord Hater watched the nomad from his end of the box, as Wander walked around it. Once on the other side, he removed his top hat as he dug deep inside. He mumbled as he searched, even going so far to tuck his head inside. With an "ah-HA!", Wander pulled himself out- a long and rusty looking saw coming out with him. Hater's eyes opened wide in alarm.

"I changed my mind! I, I want out!"

The skeleton was actually beginning to panic now, and pushed against the lid. The lid rattled, but didn't budge. Had the fuzzball locked him in there? Was this how it was going to end? The all powerful Lord Hater's entire empire crumbled, because the all powerful Lord Hater was stuck in a box?

His panic intensified when the sound of sawing began, then froze and turned into something else entirely when he saw those big eyes gazing down at him. Hater met the gaze with a sharp glare. Hopefully a threatening one. The glare faltered when Wander leaned down to murmur to him.

"Hater, have I ever told you you have got the most bea-utiful eyes?"

Flustered feelings hit the skeleton like a wave, crashing upon him as Wander leaned closer. Hater should have reminded him he was in the middle of a show. He should have reminded the nomad that they were being watched by a crowd- somebody was bound to notice his behavior!

Instead Hater found himself staring at those lips- those same lips that had been touching him not even twenty-four hours before- as he replayed the experience in his mind. The overlord grumbled as he looked away- face a dark shade of green.

"No…"

"WELL, you do, ya know." Wander sighed, as he brought both hands to his chin as he rested onto the box to look deeper into those green pools. "I could jus' look at 'em all day~"

While the act was very intimate, those words filling him with the same mix of dread and happiness he couldn't seem to get rid of, Hater found himself gasping as he looked back at the magician. If… If both hands were there…

Why did he still hear the sounds of wood being cut?

Looking behind the dirty mop of a man's head- which was hard to do in his current box-trapped state- his eyes opened up wide as he screamed.

"GYAH! How… how are you- THE SAW!"

Wander was broken from his trance with a start, shot up, and saw the saw was sawing without him.

"Huh? Oh! Whoopsie." He shrugged sheepishly at both Hater and the audience. "Doncha just hate it when magic gets away from ya?"

The watchdogs, sans Peepers, in the audience, laughed.

"Enough foolin', folks, let's get back to this here trick." Wander grabbed the handle of the saw, and finished cutting through the box. Sylvia was suddenly on stage again, and with a smirk, separated the box in two, and spun them around. The audience gasped.

Wander leaned down to Hater again, and he recoiled with a sneer.

"Hater, y'mind wigglin' your feet some so they know it's real?" He whispered.

"What? No! I'm not doing something so ridiculous!"

"Pretty please?"

"I SAID no!"

The nomad paused, for a minute… before his eyes lit up. Wander gave Hater a mischievous beam, before going down to the end of the box where the overlord's converse sneakers were sticking out. Still grinning as if he was up to no good, he began to untie and remove one of Hater's shoes.

The skeleton barked from his other end.

"What do you think you are doing?! STOP RIGHT THIS MINUTE!"

Wander ignored him, as he exposed the boney foot of the birthday boy. Reaching into his cape, the magician let forth a 'ta-da!' as he pulled out a long blue feather.

Hater did NOT like where this was going.

"Nonono, DON'T YOU DARE! Wander, I MEAN IT! I swear, if you do that, I am going to-"

Hater never got to finish his threat, the skeleton bursting into a mad fit of laughter as Wander began tickling him.

The laughter was a bonus, but it certainly did change Hater's mind about wiggling his feet. In fact they were kicking as best they could in their boxy prison. The watchdogs in the audience clapped, Sylvia was laughing and hooting for more.

"Hold your applause, please! The trick ain't over yet." Wander instructed the crowd. He was in the process of pushing the two ends back together, when both pieces of the box exploded with a bright flash of green light, colorful wooden debris showering the stage. Wander shielded his face from the flying splinters.

"ENOUGH!" Hater shouted, now free of the box, standing on the stage, and none too pleased. He looked down at himself and smirked.

"Oh, would you look at that!" He said, tone sarcastic. "It was all a fake! I'm fine!"

The skeletal overlord jumped up and down on the stage to show he was still in one piece, but the top half of him just wouldn't cooperate, lifting apart with every jump. The audience gasped in mild horror. One watchdog threw up. Hater looked at himself in horror, too, and then whipped around to glower at the magician.

"FIX THIS!"

"Now now, Hater, don't you worry. We'll getcha all fixed up, you'll see!"

Wander sat his top hat on the ground, as he reached in and started pulling something out. At first it looked like the nomad was about to attempt at doing another scarf trick, when instead he tugged and pulled until a large green blanket was in his hands. As quick as he could, Wander ran towards Hater as he started going around him in circles- wrapping up the skeleton. Hater squirmed and scream, as he yet again became Wander's prisoner. But around and around Wander went, until Hater resembled more like a burrito than a skeleton.

The fuzzy mop of a magician gave a reassuring smile, as he lightly patted the blanket cocoon.

"There, all nice n' snug like a bug in a rug!" A pause as he turned towards the audience. " Now, folks, this is where I need your help. That is, if ya'll don't mind. Healing is one part magic, yes, but it's also lots and lots of love. I'd like for ya'll to send Hater's way the happiest of thoughts, and shout out his name, as I wave my hands and transfer it to him. Sound good?"

Wander didn't wait for a reply as he cheered.

"Woo! Alrighty then. Ready… Set… Start sending that love!"

The audience fell silent. Peepers and Sylvia stared at the two of them, arms crossed stubbornly. A watchdog in the back coughed. Hater glared out into the audience, and with an unhappy growl, he instantly prompted the watchdogs, Peepers included this time, to start shouting and hollering, and calling his name.

"Wooo, alright! We love ya, man!" one called out.

"In a completely platonic manner!" added another.

"Yeah, totally!" called a third.

Wander grinned, and gave the small crowd a double thumbs up, and then took hold of a corner of the blanket that encompassed Hater.

"Alright, great job! Time t'witness the healin' power of love!" he called back to the audience, cheerfully. With one hard yank, the blanket was unravelled, sending Hater spinning rapidly across the stage. The skeleton eventually tripped over his own feet, as he fell face first.

Hater lifted his head, as the spinning room began to settle. He sat up into a sitting position, when the overlord looked down at his body. His robe was now attached- as if it had never been sawed through at all. Hater's hands wildly felt up his spine where he had been cut, and he gaped over at Wander, who was making his way towards him.

"I'm… I'm fine?"

"Don't I know it," Wander sighed dreamily, before turning back to the crowd. "Now how 'bout a round of applause for the birthday boy? Didn't he do great? YEAH!"

The crowd hooped and hollered as the fuzzy magician helped Hater to his feet, and then walked him off stage. After escorting the skeleton to his seat- Hater still a little dizzy and lightheaded from the ordeal, making it feel more like a strange dream than anything else- Wander dug into his cape and pulled out a bouquet of colorful flowers and handed it to him. As he did so, the nomad leaned in to whisper to him- his intoxicatingly warm breath close to the overlord's face.

"Thank you for your help, Hater. It means the world t'me t'have ya participate n' have some fun."

Wander pulled away and winked at him- the overlord not knowing how to feel about all of this. Holding the flowers, Hater sunk in his chair as the magician made his way back on stage. Still feeling warm in the face, Hater couldn't even look at anyone as he just stared at the roses in his gloved hands instead. He couldn't even stop the small smile that crossed his face as he smelled them.

Hater, however, completely missed the disturbed look his second in command was giving him. Peepers reluctantly returned his attention back to the stage, when Wander spoke up again.

"For my next, and final trick this evening - Sylvia, if you wouldn't mind." Another box, this one taller than it was wide, was wheeled onto the stage, and another lowered from the tall ceiling from a heavy metal chain, until it hung four feet from the floor. "Thaaank you!"

"Oh, great, more boxes." Commander Peepers mumbled. "How original, how does he do it."

"Today only, watch as I, a humble magician-slash-traveller of the stars, performs for you lovely folks, an exciting, heart-pounding, death defying stunt of unimaginable awesomeness!" Wander exclaimed, his voice raising louder with every word, until he was screaming by the end of it. It was obvious at least he was pumped for it, and most of the audience couldn't help but get caught up in his enthusiasm.

"I will climb into this box," He pointed to the crate suspended from the ceiling. "My hands will be handcuffed outside of the box, through these two holes here. I will have one minute, count it! One minute, t'pick the locks on my cuffs, the lock on the lid of the box, and escape, b'fore the bottom drops out, and I fall-" Wander dug deep in his cape, and pulled out a small bed of very sharp, very real spikes, and dropped it onto the stage under the box. It landed with a heavy clunk. "Onto these very uncomfortable bed of spikes!"

Hater gaped at the stage. "WHAT!"

Commander Peepers was grinning. "Well it's about time this show picked up! This ought to be good."

Hater watched on, as Sylvia helped Wander into the smaller box. Sticking his furry orange mitts through the holes, the zbornak assistant placed a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. The skeleton could see the nomad hiss some, no doubt from the restraints being really tight. Once he was secured, Sylvia then placed a lid on top of the box- stowing away the magician as she locked him inside with two heavy-duty padlocks.

Suddenly, coming from the ceiling, was a large monitor. On it flashed sixty seconds. The assistant smirked smugly, before turning to the audience and shouting.

"Alright, start the clock!"

A flash erupted from the screen, as the timer began counting down.

_Sixty… fifty-nine…_

Every second a loud beeping and clattering noise followed. Hater felt his grip around the flowers tighten, as his eyes were fixated on the arms outside the box. He could see Wander had something in his hands, no doubt a bobby pin as he attempted to use it to unlock the handcuffs. The skeletal overlord, however, found himself begin to sweat as the clock continued to count down, and still Wander was not free.

_Thirty-five… Thirty-four…_

What was taking him so long?! Hater's breath hitched in his throat, as finally the nomad freed one of his hands. Oh, good, now he was getting somewhere- but he still only had thirty seconds left before he crashed and impaled himself on the sharp spikes below!

Hater watched the lid of the crate intently, hardly even sitting in his seat anymore. The flowers in his hand were all but crushed by that point. The counter continued to count down, and the lid didn't even rattle.

_Twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three..._

"Come on, come on..." Hater mumbled.

_Nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen..._

"Hurry up..."

_Ten, nine, eight, seven, six..._

"WANDER! GET OUT OF THERE!" Hater screamed, shooting up and knocking over his chair. Peepers was struggling between keeping his eyes glued to the stage (he wouldn't want to miss Wander's gruesome demise, after all), and being seriously worried for his boss. What was with him?

_Five, four, three..._

"NOO!" The overlord took off like a shot, leaped up onto the stage, the sound of the crate bottom swinging open just as he got there sending a bolt of fear and dread throughout him.

The room filled with a collective gasp, and then fell silent. The crate swung on its chain. Nothing had fallen out. The box was empty. Hater and the audience all cried out in alarm, as fireworks went off towards the side and over by the other box. With a flash, the red curtain in front of the box was pulled back as Wander hopped out of it.

"Ta-da! Right as rain!"

The watchdogs in the audience clapped and cheered. All of them except the commander stood on their seats as they whistled and applauded. The overlord on stage, however, merely gawked. He was… Wander was okay? He looked between one box to the other, not even seeing how such a thing was possible. The skeleton then stared at the spikes, as he pictured just what COULD have happened. It sent a shiver down his spine, making him sick as he connected it to when Wander had actually died just a couple months before. That vile sick feeling turned into rage as Hater sunk in what happened.

He had been tricked. He had been cruelly manipulated. All for a stupid magic act!

Hater growled as he spun around, stomping towards the nomad.

"You…. How DARE you!"

Years of habit propelled Wander backwards a couple steps as the overlord bared down on him. He looked up at Hater, sporting an apologetic grin.

"Aw, Hater, I'm alright! It's just a silly trick! The ol' smoke an' mirrors routine, y'know?"

"Well it isn't just a stupid trick to me!" Hater wailed. Wander was shocked and heartbroken to hear the tremble in his voice. Was he about to cry? Oh no...

"Hater, I-"

"It's like I was living that moment all over again! Don't you think I relive that moment every night in my nightmares! You- you aren't allowed to leave again! I FORBID IT! DO YOU HEAR ME!"

The fuzzy magician was scooped up and held tight, and for anyone watching, it was hard to tell if it was an embrace, or if the nomad was just being used as a furry tissue. Wander rubbed the sobbing skeleton's back, murmuring softly to him, looking himself like he was on the verge of tears.

Commander Peepers stared, stunned into silence. What was this? Hater had been acting strange, sure, but this topped it all. He glanced over at Sylvia, and the smug grin he was expecting wasn't there. The zbornak watched the same scene he was, and she looked pained, regretful. It was then that Peepers suddenly realized there was something going on, and he was the only one who had been left out of the joke.

He glared at the hairy nuisance hugging Lord Hater, future ruler of the universe. He'd done something, something horrible to his boss, and he was going to find out what.

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this, even if it kills me." The commander mumbled to himself. "And when I do, Wander won't escape his demise a third time."

 


	5. Chapter 5

Things were weird. Very, very weird. Ever since witnessing the little incident between Lord Hater and the dirty little twerp at the end of the last performance, Commander Peepers had been scoping the two out. They were close... too close. And it was only then that he noted the sickly green color to the overlord's face while the other was around. WHAT in the world was going on? Was his boss right, all those months- no, almost a year prior, when he had insinuated that the fuzzy nomad had some sort of powers? It had seemed like moronic ramblings at the time, but after seeing the pure life force inside of him, and what it did to the once fearless conqueror of worlds… the commander was beginning to suspect he must have done SOMETHING to Hater. Brainwashed him, or some sort of emotional blackmail- he didn't know!

What Peepers did know, however, was that he was going to put this foolishness to an end. He was going to free his boss from whatever stunt Wander was pulling on him- and then they would all go back to how things were BEFORE the punk messed with their lives- working on ruling the whole universe!

But first… he would need a plan…

Peepers watched as, for possibly the first time that evening, Wander wandered away from Hater and his zbornak pal. The commander followed him with his gaze, watching him carefully, and when he realized just where he was headed, a spark of anxiousness ignited within him.

Could it really be that easy?

Wander was busy smiling back at his reflection in the Bobbing for Apples tank- back on the observation deck- to notice Peepers walk up and stand beside him, calmly, expression deadpan, hands held patiently and professionally behind his back. The nomad removed his hat, took a loud, deep breath, and leaned over the side, intent on snagging a tasty snack.

The moment he felt a hand on the back of his head, his eyes shot open, and he didn't have time to resist when the hand began shoving his face under the water. The breath he'd taken erupted from his lungs in a flurry of bubbles as he tried yelling- more a shock reflex than anything else.

Wander flailed uselessly, and Peepers grinned wickedly down at his soon to be victim. A sick sense of excitement and thrill coursed through the commander's veins; this was it. After years of endless torment at the hands of this fuzzy pest, it was all about to end. Oh, yes. Commander Peepers was so caught up in his task, he was only distantly aware he was cackling maliciously as he was doing it.

It took the watchdog a minute to hear the sound of a large foot tapping on the floor. And once he did, he looked up with a sudden jolt as Peepers noticed a VERY displeased looking zbornak with her arms crossed. Oh, no, she looked more than displeased- she looked down right ANGRY! The commander laughed nervously, looking more like a child caught with his hands in a cookie jar than anything else, as his hands were still drowning her buddy. Peepers wasn't laughing for long, however, as he soon found himself flying across the room as Sylvia violently socked him in the eye.

Wander merely popped up out of the tank sopping wet, but equally completely oblivious. He smiled widely at his companion across from him, as he had a shiny red apple between his pearly whites.

* * *

Okay, so that plan hadn't gone too well. But that was alright! It was only plan A- and everyone knows plan A can be a doozey. No no, it was plan B that was the keeper! And this one was FAR more thought out. Commander Peepers took the horse shaped pinata he had originally planned for the evening- back when it was only supposed to be HIM and Lord Hater- and discretely dumped out the candy contents. Phase two was just as simple and easy, as the second in command went down to the ship's zoo of deadly and dangerous creatures and borrowed the tank of the flesh eating scorpions. All it took was to pour the venomous arachnids into the candy-free pinata, and seal up the hole again. After completing the task, Peepers stood up proudly and dusted off his hands.

"A job well done, Peepers, the wandering weirdo is SURE not to get out of THIS one!"

After securing it to the ceiling in the party room, humming to himself while he did it, he turned to everyone in the room and cleared his throat.

"Who's ready for the next party game, hm?"

Wander waved his hands wildly, jumping up and down. Peepers smiled. Perfect. He took the fuzzy hobo by the hand and dragged him over, shoving a long wooden pole into his hands.

"Good! Now make sure and hit it really hard, okay?" Peepers chirped, as he tied the blindfold around his eyes, making sure to tie it uncomfortably tight, of course. He stepped back to watch the carnage. Wander brought the stick back, ready to strike-

And froze. Oh what now?! The blindfold was taken off, and Wander looked back at Hater, expression sheepish.

"Whoops! It wouldn't be right if the birthday boy didn't give it a go first, now would it?"

He held the pole out towards the birthday boy with a bright raised his brow as he looked from the pinata to the nomad- not sure at all if he was game. The second in command, however, began to freak out as he slipped in between the two and snatched the pole away.

"NO! I… I -haha- I'm sure Lord Hater isn't in the mood for such silly things. He's way too good and mature to play something so childish. Am I right,  _or am I right_?"

As Peepers threw a look over his shoulder, he saw the skeletal overlord glowering over him. Arms crossed in agitation, he growled.

"How DARE you tell me what I want or don't want to do! I'm Lord Hater, I can do whatever- and ESPECIALLY on MY birthday!"

"Y-yes, sir, I know. But I just thought-"

"WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG!" The skeleton snatched the pole out from the pipsqueak's gloved hands. "Now get out of the way, Peepers, I'M GOING TO DEMOLISH THIS THING!"

The watchdog attempted to argue some more, but squeaked out in alarm when he was kicked to the side. Peepers watched, mortified, as Hater bent down to Wander's level as the nomad tied the cloth around his eyes. After being spun a few times, dizzy as he wobbled just a little, the overlord began swinging the stick wildly.

Peepers almost had a mini heart attack when Hater swung the first time, just barely missing the pinata.

A couple left over watchdogs, Wander, and even Sylvia began cheering for Hater as he swung blindly, barely missing it each time. Their chanting faded into droning background noise to Peepers, his own pulse sounding much louder in his ears. He flinched when the pole grazed the pinata, but not enough to break it. That was it, he had to do something.

The commander threw himself onto Lord Hater, clinging halfway up his robe.

"SIR! PLEASE, for the love of GLORN, stop!" He shouted. The room fell silent. Hater stopped moving. He opened his eye to see the overlord glowering down at him, blindfold raised.

"OH thank you thank you THANK YOU!" Peepers cried, immensely relieved. He heard Hater growl.

"PEEPERS! What is your DEAL!" His boss raised both arms to get his point across, and there was a muffled tearing sound as the tip of the pole pierced the bottom of the pinata.

Hater was still yelling, but Peepers wasn't listening. He was too busy watching the line of flesh eating scorpions marching down the pole. The watchdog yipped as he jumped off of the overlord, scootching away as fast as he could- he called out to his boss in hysterics.

"SIR, WATCH OUT!"

"Huh?"

By the time Hater looked upwards to where his second in command was pointing, it was too late. The scorpions were off of the pole and climbing up the boney arm of the skeleton. Hater let out a scream as he began flailing his arms, trying to get them off. The creatures bit as they traveled, trying to find flesh to eat on their fleshless journey. Lord Hater's flailing did nothing, and soon the scorpions had made their way into his hood. Hater could feel every creature moving, as they crawled through his ribcage. Hater wiggled and danced about the room, still screaming, as he tried to get them out of his robes.

"Don't just stand there- SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"

Peepers continued to do nothing, frozen to the spot. What could he do? He, unlike his boss, actually had flesh that could be eaten!

"I'll save ya, Hater!" Wander suddenly cried, the water from the bobbing tank launched through the air, drenching the overlord. The scorpions all fell off of Hater, scurrying out from under his robe, and scattering.

Sylvia was laughing, Hater just stood there, dripping, his expression speaking volumes of unhappiness. He spat out a stream of water, and Peepers chuckled nervously.

"Eh heh heh... so who feels like ... dancing?"

* * *

The room had been cleared, the lights had been dimmed, speakers and a DJ setup had been moved in. Music pumped through the speakers, and Commander Peepers readied his next, and hopefully last, extermination plan. He finished adjusting the last laser- actual deadly lasers hidden amidst the colorful party lights- and chuckled to himself.

"Heh heh. There's no way that little monster is getting out of this plan alive!"

The second in command then turned to the watchdog over at the DJ booth and gave him the thumbs up. Returning the gesture with a smile, the soldier turned on the system as music blasted out of the large speakers next to him. Funky dance music filled the room, and the DJ started mixing his turn decks to make the tune more wild. All of this got Wander's attention, as he had been busy chatting it up with Sylvia and Hater. He had squealed, excited that the music was finally starting, as he pointed towards the dance floor. The overlord crossed his arms in defiance- refusing to do anything else that even remotely LOOKED like dancing. The zbornak, however, had on her boogie shoes- metaphorically speaking- as she allowed the nomad to drag her towards the center of the room. Once there, colorful lights of green, pink and blue started creating colorful patterns all around them- shifting from stars to other planetary configurations.

This was enough to get the two to start shaking their groove thang, as they laughed and enjoyed themselves.

Peepers waited and watched, lurking in the shadows to the side as he made sure his boss did NOT want to join- last thing he needed was another reason for the overlord to want to demote him… again. Hater, however, stayed to the side, watching the two nomads on the dancefloor as he sipped from his cup of punch- not looking like he planned on moving in the slightest.

Good.

The commander laughed evilly to himself, feeling like some sort of cartoon villain, as he pressed the button on the remote in his hand- activating his lasers.

They looked like nothing more than mere party lights, as they began firing at the dance floor from all sides. The two dancers paid no mind to them as they continued their fun.

Peepers was growing impatient; when the first seven beams missed them by mere inches, and the next four missing them by more than that, two of them ricocheting off the polished floor and taking out a snack table and the punch bowl, respectively, he'd chalked it up to bad luck. But as one song faded out and into another, it was almost as if the two were mocking him, purposely and expertly dancing, weaving, ducking, and sliding gracefully out of the way of each deadly attack.

His anger was reaching its boiling point, and then was immediately extinguished when the remote was roughly snatched from his hand. He yipped and whipped around to see Hater looming over him, arms crossed over his chest, the lasers whirring to a stop.

"Oh uh... hello, sir. Enjoying your party, I hope?" He smiled up at his boss.

The dangerous look on the skeleton's face told him the answer was most certainly "no". But still, Hater remained silent as he wagged the remote in his grip- his gaze not leaving Peepers in the slightest. Finally, when it was beginning to become too much for the watchdog to bear, the overlord finally spoke.

"Peepers… you and I need to have a talk."

"A talk, sir?"

"A talk."

Hater dragged the commander deeper into the shadows, and away from the oblivious nomads as they continued to dance the night away. Once far away where he didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing, the skeleton swiftly turned around and growled as his glare only intensified.

"WHAT is your DEAL?!"

Any fear or worry that Peepers may have felt was quickly replaced with anger at this accusation. He glared right back at Hater, his temper outweighing any trepidation of angering his boss.

"What's MY deal? What's YOUR deal! You've been acting strange ever since... ever since that incident with the Morning Star, and I'm beginning to think it's scrambled your brain! You act like you don't want to get rid of Wander, the only threat to the Hater empire, anymore!"

Hater's glare softened, but only because he'd been taken by surprise. He broke eye contact with his commander when he spoke.

"I haven't been acting any different, Peepers! I'm fine! Nothing's changed, okay?"

"Don't give me that! I've been your right hand man for years, I know you better than you know yourself!"

"Who even says that!" Hater grumbled. "That's just ridiculous, you do not."

Peepers stared back at him.

"Oh really. Sir, what size shoes do you wear?"

Hater stared back at his second in command. He blinked.

"Uh. It... whatever, why would I know something stupid like that, it-"

"Twelve, sir. Size twelve. Unless it's an off brand, and then you wear a ten, but you don't like those ones, because they pinch your toes."

"ALRIGHT!" The skeleton roared. "So you know some things about me, big whoop. That doesn't mean you know what's going on in my head or anything!"

"And that's what I'm trying to say! I know you enough to know something is going on. Something that… that has changed you!" Peepers paused as he threw a sideways glance towards the dancefloor. " It's him, isn't it? Oh geeze, what did Wander DO to you? Is it blackmail?"

Hater rolled his eyes.

"Pfft. Yeah right."

"Some type of mind control?"

" _No._ "

"What about-?"

"NO! For pete's sake, Peepers, he hasn't done any of those things to me! It's not him, it's me… Well, uh, it's kinda him too. Actually, it's a lot to do with him." The skeleton broke eye contact as his face began to flush. He glared as he grumbled.

Peepers couldn't hear what he had muttered because of the loud music.

"Wait, what? Can you repeat that?"

"Don't make me say it again!"

"Well you wouldn't HAVE to if you said it loud the first time!"

Hater growled, balling his hands into fists from frustration. Looking at the ground, and feeling pent up, he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"HE KISSED ME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

The room went silent as the music came to a screeching halt. Hater looked up in alarm as he noticed everybody stopped what they were doing and were all now looking at him. Great, now he was the center of all the awkward attention!

Peepers threw a glance over his shoulder, then turned back to Hater, his tone hushed. "Well sir, it isn't like he hasn't kissed you before, I don't see-"

"On the mouth."

"What?"

"He kissed me, for real, on the mouth, it wasn't a, a fake kiss, or anything! And then he sung me a song, a LOVE song, Peepers!"

Peepers looked and felt absolutely horrified. He felt nausea coming on. He shook his head.

"And that didn't make you want to destroy him even more, because ...?"

Hater opened his mouth to reply, but when none came out, he closed it, and looked away, his blush deepening. Peepers threw a wild glare at Wander who, like everyone else in the room, was watching them mumble to each other in the corner. The fuzzy weirdo grinned wide and waved when he saw Peepers looking.

When Peeper's stare returned to Hater, it was still just as horrified, maybe even more than a little disgusted.

"Oh grop. You didn't. PLEASE tell me you didn't kiss that creep back."

Hater's continued silence told him more than he wanted to know.

Suddenly the room was spinning, his stomach was churning, and somewhere from far away, someone was talking... Peepers turned, urging his legs to move. Everything had just become unreal, this wasn't happening, all he knew was he had to find a bathroom and evacuate his dinner. He was snapped back to reality, however, when a clawed hand suddenly grabbed onto him and turned him back around.

"Look, Peepers," Hater said as serious as possible. "This changes nothing."

"Nothing… nothing?! This changes everything! YOU'RE changing! He's changing you! Is this why you haven't wanted to conquer any planets, because you were dealing with THAT weirdo?!"

"NO! I just haven't felt like it, is all."

"Because you've been too busy thinking about HIM instead!" The watchdog paused, as a lightbulb went off in his head. "Oh… oh this is starting to all make sense. THAT'S what had you all worried on Skrenzar! That's why you've been hiding away!"

"I'M NOT HIDING!"

"You are! Or, you were anyhow." The second in command sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. "Just… just WHY, sir? Why him? Why NOW?"

Hater sighed. It wasn't a weary sigh, it was a frustrated sound that one might hear from a teenager who is fed up with their parents asking too many questions, even though they would obviously never understand, anyway. He rubbed his eyes with the forefinger and thumb of his right hand.

"I don't know, Peepers. I would have been FINE avoiding him forever! But then he showed up last night, and there were... feelings, all over the place, and I was tired, and I panicked and invited him to the party, I just- look, I meant what I said about nothing changing, alright? I'm, I'm not gonna go off and get married, and... settle down in a little cottage on a hill, overlooking a little pond, forever giving up my dreams of ruling the universe, or anything stupid like that, okay?"

Peepers just stared at him, obviously unimpressed with his little speech.

"Okay, okay, I get what you're probably thinking here." Hater said, raising both hands in a calm down gesture. "But I'll PROVE nothing has changed. Tomorrow we'll go invade that Utonia planet you mentioned, I don't know, some time ago. So uh, get that plan together, I guess."

The second in command eyed his boss for a moment- the seconds ticking away and feeling like an eternity- before crossing his arms and standing up as tall as he could.

"Even the plan you shot down as being completely ridiculous- when it was actually a GREAT plan?"

"What? NO! That plan was just so stupid! You wanted me to strip naked and pretend I was one of their gods!"

"You would have had a loin cloth! And the people are INSANELY religious and you look just like their god of destruction!"

"NAKED, PEPPERS!"

"FINE! Then the second plan then! The one where we use a genetically enhanced super squid."

Hater paused as he stared down his officer. Super Squid… that was the one that shot out acid ink, right? ...Okay, yeah, sure. He could work with that.

"Fine. yeah. OKAY."

"... and a raise?"

"DON'T YOU EVEN START THAT!"

"Heh, just checking."

The watchdog relaxed some, sighing as his brain was doing its best to put all the pieces together in a way that made any sort of sense. He was still not fine. TOTALLY NOT FINE with the fact that his boss… and…. the hippy! Possibly together? ROMANTICALLY?! BUT, if what Lord Hater said was true… Maybe, just maybe, he could grow into being okay with it.

... _Eventually_.

The sound of amps starting up startled the two out of their private thoughts, as they turned around to see the very nomad they were talking about over by the DJ booth- setting up something. Peepers cleared his throat as he turned back towards the skeletal overlord.

"WELL, if DESTROYING them isn't on the game plan for tonight… you MIGHT want to go check out what your…  _guest_  is up to." The commander smiled, if slightly strained, as he tucked his hands behind his back. "And… and good luck, sir?"

"Thanks..." Hater grumbled back; Grod knew he was going to need it. He stepped around his second in command and headed back toward the DJ booth, where Wander was still busy messing around with the VERY expensive looking equipment.

This day just wasn't going to end, was it?


	6. The Reprise

* * *

"And WHAT do you think you are doing?"

Wander peeked his head out from behind the speakers and DJ booth- the nomad covered in wires as he had been plugging in and fiddling with the equipment. When he spotted Hater coming towards him, however, the fuzzy mop smiled wide as he tried untangling himself.

"THERE you are- heh, one moment, Hater, lil' bit tied up at the moment. Jus' give me a sec~"

Wander grunted as he tried ducking and turning under wires- making himself more stuck with every move. He wiggled and flailed- though keeping in mind to be gentle so he didn't unplug all his hard work. The nomad stuck out his tongue, as he concentrated on what he was trying to do.

Hater glared.

"Wander…"

"Now now, don'tcha fret there. I think I'm gettin' close!"

The skeletal overlord growled, not having the patience for this. Thrusting his arm outward, Hater yanked Wander and the cables out from the equipment as he ripped the tangled mess off of the excitable hippie. Throwing the cables on the ground, Hater kept his grip around Wander's tufts of his fur skirt as he roared.

"NOW YOU'RE FREE- GROD! Now will you just ANSWER my question already?!"

Wander scratched his head as he dangled in Lord Hater's grip.

"Question? Oh! You wanted t'know what I was doin', right?"

"YES!" His patience was all but gone now.

"Well..." Wander trailed off, and looked down at the pile of wires and cables on the floor, all unplugged. "I  _was_ just about done settin' up for our little duet ditty, but now... aw, well! Should only take a sec t'do it again!" He finished cheerfully.

Hater raised a brow, and sneered. "Our what?"

"Our ditty! See I figured, seein' as playin' music is somethin' we  _both_ enjoy, maybe we could try enjoyin' it together! You playin' your guitar, an' me on my banjo!"

"And what in the nine galaxies, makes you think, I WOULD ENJOY THAT?" Hater shouted at the nomad, the force of his yelling blowing his fur back some. But Wander's smile never waned. He shrugged.

"I dunno, a hunch?"

A hunch? So really he had no reasoning behind it at all. It figured! Hater eyed him before looking at the equipment again.

"I don't think our styles will mix."

"Sure it will!"

"I don't play for an audience."

"Aww, no reason t'be shy, you'll do GREAT! And makin' music's more fun when ya do it for others!"

"I'M NOT BEING SHY!" The skeletal overlord growled as he brought himself face to face with the nomad, having Wander see the full intensity of his glare. "Look, I just don't want to play, is all. It's stupid!"

Wander opened his mouth to reply, when he was cut off by a scoff coming from behind the both of them. Hater and the fuzzy mop took a glance over the overlord's shoulder, where Sylvia was busy with a plate of sandwiches from the snack table. She stuffed another in her mouth as the skeleton gave her a dirty look.

"Got something to say, zbornak?"

Sylvia didn't bother to swallow as she began talking.

"Mmm, you bet I do. Kinda lame you won't play a song with your  _boyfriend._ "

Hater flushed a greenish hue.

"He's… we're, HE'S NOT MY-"

"I mean," Sylvia went on, not even letting him finish. "What are you afraid of?"

Afraid? AFRAID?! He- Lord Hater- letting something scare him? NEVER! The skeleton buffed up his chest, making himself feel all the bigger and intimidating as he started yelling.

"FINE! Oh, it's on. I accept the challenge!"

Ten minutes later, the cords were where they were supposed to be, Hater's electric guitar plugged in and ready to go. The overlord stood in front of the DJ booth with it, looking out into the crowd of four; Sylvia, Peepers, and two watchdogs, awkwardly. Wander was next to him, sitting on the booth table, holding his banjo, swinging his legs.

"Uh... do I just- what song am I supposed to-" Hater mumbled to the nomad. Wander gave a loose shrug.

"Just play whatever your heart says t'play! That's what I always do."

Hater raised a brow and frowned at him. Was he being serious right now? He couldn't just play random notes without something to go by, and he didn't HAVE a heart!

"I can't just- that's- what is wrong with you?"

But Wander just smiled back, warmly. Hater glanced away. He hated not hating that smile.

"You CAN do it, Hater! Just play from your heart, an' it'll be great! Y'might even surprise yourself."

"Uhg! Okay fine. But if it sounds bad, it- it's totally your fault!" Wander just gave a wide, toothy grin and a double thumbs up in reply. Hater huffed and turned to face the "crowd", mumbling to himself as he re-situated his guitar into place. A clawed hand came down across the strings, the speakers booming with the scream of a finely tuned electric guitar.

Hater closed his eyes as he did another stroke of his guitar, doing his best to drown out the feeling of being watched as he tried to play. It was loud, but it wasn't as fierce as he would have liked. Scrunching his eyes and gritting his teeth, he struck down his claws again as he delivered a powerful blow. Yes! There, that was more like it! Feeling a boost in confidence, the skeleton stuck out his tongue and he began strumming out a fast beat. Wham! Bam! Durr durr durr durr - WHAM! Durr durr durr durr- WHAM! Hater followed the steady beat he was hearing in his head, going purely by instinct as he was letting the thing practically play itself.

The overlord's eyes popped open, however, when he suddenly realized he wasn't playing alone anymore. Looking over at his side, where Wander was still sitting on the table, the nomad had a small tranquil smile on his face as his fingers strummed his banjo along with him. The melody wasn't keeping up with his, in fact it was all over the place as it danced around Hater's constant melody. Hater found himself slightly annoyed by it. Not because it sounded bad, mind you- in all actuality it didn't sound completely awful with the overlord's guitar. No… it annoyed him because the nomad was making him look like a backup guitarist to his hillbilly hoedown.

And Lord Hater REFUSED to play second fiddle to ANYONE!

Glaring, the skeleton let loose a mighty sketch from his instrument, getting Wander to look up from his own playing to raise a brow. Ha, good, got his attention! Still playing, Hater switched up the beat- Durr durr, whirr; dun nana, dun nana, dun nana. He let the guitar warble, almost drowning out the upbeat melody of the banjo.

It didn't take Wander long to figure out what was going on, as he made an amused 'ooh' gesture with his lips. Eyes becoming half lidded- and a little too smug for Hater's liking- the banjo player switched up his tune, this time making a game of keeping up with whatever Hater threw at him.

'Good, yeah. You're second. You follow MY lead, hippie.'

The overlord felt himself growling when Wander- YET AGAIN- swerved off the track and started playing his own stuff. GROD! What was his problem?! Did he forget what was going on already? Hater's glower turned to surprise as he realized… he recognized the beat. He… didn't know why, his mind drawing a blank, but it tickled the back of his skull and made him stare at the fuzzy mop. It was only once Wander started singing did he realize WHY he recognized it at all.

He was singing his birthday song.

" _Hater, you fill me up with static_

_Air 'round you's electricity_

_Call me anything you like_

_You're still wonderful to me_

_Touch me with your magic_

_Ya light me up inside_

_I've been drawn to you ever since_

_Our path's came allied"_

Hater threw a quick dart towards their mini audience, as he took in their expressions. Peepers was doing his best to suppress any disgust he was feeling- he could tell- while the other three seemed to be enjoying Wander's singing enough. Sylvia giving Hater a smile that made him flush from a mix of embarrassment and aggravation.

Oh, so Wander thought he could throw him off by playing his stupid song, huh? Well guess what, PAL, it wasn't happening! Hater looked away as he focused on his playing, trying to do his best to drown out the lyrics. He wasn't going to let those dumb warm feelings he felt fluttering inside him distract HIM from this competition!

Wander, meanwhile, was ignorant to his plight.

" _Now you're a guy with everything_

_The stars are in your hands_

_And I can't offer you very much_

_This I understand_

_But I traveled far and near_

_I found you at the start_

_If I can offer anything_

_Then it's gotta be my heart"_

If this had become a battle of lyrics, then so be it. Hater was never one to back down from a challenge- especially not when it came to his music. His guitar screamed one more time, his booming voice just barely audible over it.

" _You think I'm gonna lose_

_Because I like what you have to say?_

_Nuh-uh, pal, not happening_

_That ain't it- no way!_

_Your words may be sick and mushy_

_But it takes more than that, you'll see_

_This is a rock battle competition_

_Not some hippie jamboree!"_

Peepers face palmed hard. Sylvia raised an intrigued brow. Their little jam session must have been heard throughout the ship, because watchdogs slowly began to trickle in to watch the show by twos and threes. But Hater was far too pumped up for the growing crowd to unease him now.

" _I take everything I want_

_No one dares question that_

_If I say you're mine, you're mine then_

_No arguing, just fact_

_I don't have to spit sick lyrics_

_About how you make me feel_

_I'm Lord Hater- the greatest_

_So you'll just have to deal!"_

Hater wasn't singing to the crowd anymore, anyway. He was looking at Wander with something very close to a glower. Wander returned his gaze, a goofy grin spread across his face, his banjo momentarily silent in his lap.

Good!

" _You're annoying, a menace_

_You fill me up with rage!_

_Get that smug look off your face_

_Before I lock you in a cage!_

_Abomination, that's what you are_

_You mocked me from the start!_

_And… and… GRAH!_

_And despite it all, I still want you and your heart!"_

The nomad's small smile turned into a full out grin, his eyes sparkling with some emotion that Hater found difficult to place. Fuzzy fingers stroked the banjo once again, and when he opened his mouth to sing, his voice may have quavered.

" _Yes I travelled many places_

_But I found you at the start..."_

Hater saw the opportunity to end this, and went for it.

" _And despite it all,_

_I still want you and your heart!"_

Both instruments faded and died, the silence only lasting a split second before a roaring cheer and applause rose up from the sizable crowd of impressed watchdogs that had gathered. Hater, however, huffed and puffed, continuing to ignore them as he felt his glare lessen in its intensity. Aggravation turned to jitteriness as Wander watched him- resting his chin in his hands as he leaned forward in the slightest. He sighed.

"Oh Hater…"

"Don't… Don't you start that!"

"But you played so well- and your singing! Even I didn't expect'cha to start singin' with me!"

The overlord looked away, grumbling as he let his guitar rest around the strap on his neck. He crossed his arms.

"Yeah, well… somebody had to teach you how it was done! You were doing it all wrong!"

Wander opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by watchdogs from the crowd.

"Play another!"

"Yeah, man, encore!"

"Anybody know 'Three Jars Away From Drury Lane'?"

Hater sent a glare into the crowd of watchdogs, his anger returning. Since when was he there to amuse and entertain them? And besides...

"GET BACK TO WORK!" He barked at them, as he went to remove his guitar from around him. A tug on his robe sent the glare down at Wander, who was still smiling. Did he ever stop smiling? Was that even a thing he could do?

"WHAT!"

"Doncha think they deserve a little break? C'mon, let 'em have their fun tonight!" The little nomad slid off of the table, and grabbed Hater's hand- or two of his fingers, anyway. He turned back toward the DJ booth, and the DJ, who had been standing there awkwardly ever since Wander and Hater had taken over.

"You got this?" Wander asked. The watchdog grinned and gave a thumbs up. Wander led a grumbling Hater away as the music started up again, the dance floor quickly filling up with partying watchdogs.

Commander Peepers, however, watched them with a glare. He was about to go after them, and set this not-party birthday party back on the right track, when the head watchdog was stopped by a strong tail wrapping around his middle. Being dragged further way from the other two, as he was brought face to face with the amused expression of a zbornak.

"Woah, slow down there, bucko. Let the two lovebirds have their privacy. I'm sure they're tired of us babysitting by now."

"But, I…" Peepers paused, before giving a growl of his own. "D'oh! You can't be serious! I know this bothers me, so I don't see how you can just go along with this when it involves your so called 'best friend'."

Sylvia's smirk dropped and she stared at him, deadpan.

"Oh, it doesn't bother me." She replied, calmly. "It makes my skin crawl!" she spat, venomously.

"Tell me about it! Just the thought of my boss making kissy faces with that wandering weirdo makes my stomach turn!" Peepers shot back. "So if we're both in agreement that this is wrong, then why aren't we doing something about it!"

Sylvia's expression softened, and she sighed.

"Because Wander deserves to be happy. Have you seen the way the little guy lights right up when he sees Hater? The poor guy's head over heels for that bonehead, Grop knows why. But if it makes Wander happy... I'm willing to go along with it."

Peepers stared at her for awhile, both of them silent. Just when she assumed he wasn't going to reply at all, he spoke up.

"That... was the sappiest load of Doom dragon manure I have ever heard."

Sylvia dropped him, and he crashed to the floor.

"Yeah, whatever squinty. Now how about you forget those two and actually enjoy yourself for once. I could go for some more dancing, what do you say?"

Peepers' deadpan expression said more than enough.

"Eh, suit yourself. Be an optic nerd, then. But I'm gonna shake my girls. Later, chump!"

The commander watched as the zbornak woman made her way towards the other dancing troops. Throwing a look back towards the door, Peepers sighed before making his way towards the crowd.

"If you can't beat them, join them I guess." A pause. "Or in this case show off!"

* * *

Hater was silent as he stared at the little hand that had led him out of the observation room- Wander oddly enough being just as quiet. The hand was warm, even against the skeleton's gloves. The warmth, the silence, it was bothering him- it really was! Wander was never quiet, even when he wanted him to be. And now, here he was dragging off the overlord to who knew where, being all creepy about it.

Once the nomad stopped in front of one of Lord Hater's wide windows, Hater found himself yanking his hand away as he shouted.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT! You're creeping me out! And… and what are we even DOING out here?!"

Wander smiled up at him, sheepishly. "Sorry. Didn't mean t'spook ya. I just wanted t'make sure you were enjoying yourself!" In all honesty, Wander had his doubts that he was. He imagined Hater must be bored out of his mind; there weren't ANY of the intense games and playthings that he had at his last birthday party!

The skeleton raised a brow at this.

"Well I... it's not bad, it's... it's okay, I guess. Just... I TOLD Peepers I didn't want a party! Parties aren't my thing! Crowds of people having fun aren't my thing! I just want a quiet evening, in my room, a gallon of soda, a pizza, and my video games. Is that too much to ask for!"

Wander shook his head.

"No sir, it is not! Hater, you shoulda just said you were uncomfortable! I don't mind takin' this not-party elsewhere. Just you, me, an' some nice video games. What do ya say?"

Hater was silent as he, yet again, stared. The nomad's hand was stretched out, just waiting for him to grab it. That… in all honesty, sounded… nice. Just the two of them, playing games- more like Hater completely OBLITERATING him with his skills! And, even at the off chance he did, somehow, lose…

The thought of feel good kisses didn't sound so bad either.

The overlord hid himself under his hood, doing his best to hide the green blush he KNEW had to be on his face. He cleared his throat, before grabbing onto Wander's hand- already starting to drag him back towards his room.

"Alright, but don't start crying when you lose."

"Right."

"Or… or be touching everything in my room!"

"Noooo problem!"

"Or messing up my bed, again!"

The list went on like this for quite some time, Wander just nodding his head as he smiled wider and wider. And as everybody else partied the night away- Peepers and Sylvia boogieing, surrounded by the watchdog army- the two spent their evening laughing. Sure, there was some arguing- Hater accusing Wander of cheating and making him redo his moves again. But on a whole, even the overlord had to say it was all enjoyable.

And the best birthday he could remember in a long, long time.

* * *

**.:The End:.**

* * *

 

** **

Art by [fanfic-inator795](http://fanfic-inator795.tumblr.com/post/96814512710/yaaay-i-had-fun-drawing-and-it-actually-looks)


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